Well, here I should have some smart thing to say about myself, and to the left there is supposed to be my picture. But I don’t have smart things to say—nor do I have a picture. so I had to come up with some idea. And I did. I hand-drew a picture†, which is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike me‡. Then I took a huge chunk of output from the unix fortune(6) program, to fill up space easily—and it’s witty, too. Here we go:
The solution of problems is the most characteristic and peculiar sort of voluntary thinking.
Overflow on /dev/null, please empty the bit bucket.
Mathematicians practice absolute freedom.
—Esquire, O’Donnell’s Laws of Cartoon Motion, June 1980
I’m going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.
†HAND-DREW A PICTURE: Actually, I drew a few of them, and picked the most satisfactory one. The others that don’t completely resemble me are listed below:
‡ALMOST, BUT NOT QUITE, ENTIRELY UNLIKE... : From Douglas Adams, The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where Arthur Dent found out that, upon request for tea, Nutri-Matic always made “...a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.” Um, I thought it’s cool to cite that.